Certified Public Menace At Large

Armed with a thermos-full of coffee, earphones, long playing mp3s, and a bag double my weight in books, I made my way up to the Law Library this morning to do some serious cramming. In an hour, I demolished two baggies of Skittles, munched my way through a tube of Pringles, color coordinated my m&ms and then ate them, and committed genocide on an entire population of Gummy Bears. I know, I know, the only way to make your body look great is to eat right. But I only know how to eat wrong. Eating has of late become a convenient enough coping mechanism for me. Its midterm week and these days, I feel like my skin is the only thing that keeps me from going everywhere all at once. I have become so accustomed to stress I cant function without it. No, I dont suffer from stress, Im a carrier. Take for instance, the unfortunate freshman who tried to cut in line in front of me at the photocopy queu that I shoved out of my way. He tipped over sideways and crashed on the floor. Like me, he didnt look like he had much by way of sleep last night either. He gave me this puppy-eyed sad look that I pointedly ignored. I can only please one person per day and today was not his day. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. People have to accept that some days they are the pigeon, and other days the statue. Me? All caffienated, sugar-highed, stressed out, insomniac 75 pounds of me, am NO statue. Not today schmuck.