Bubble Bubble Oil And Trouble

I helped Paula and her team mates with their debate on the new oil tax policies today. These days rocketing oil prices have Filipinos concerned and chagrined. With the high cost of heating oil increasingly forcing families to burn their youngest child for warmth (hey, money is money), Malacanang is talking about all things crude, and for once they dont mean interns in thong underwear. Will we be forever at the mercy of oil-rich OPEC countries like Saudi Arabia, which has initiated its own energy-saving innovation by forbidding women to drive cars?

Naturally, people look for easy answers: cold fusion and perpetual motion machines to the rescue. These are fun ways to defy well-established laws of physics and delude yourself at the same time - just ask my Dad, who is currently tinkering with a broken microwave and some plastic straws. Personally I think wed be better off hooking Mom up to her treadmill, but first shed have to come home from work.

Anyway, in an effort to help lessen our nations dependence on foreign oil, I pledge to follow these energy-saving tips:

1. During peak hours of electricity use, I will turn off the lights and sit in the dark brooding.

2. Effective immediately, I shall increase my insulation from all other human beings.

3. I plan to encourage others to trade in their gas-guzzling cars for oversized tricycles adorned with pinwheels. Multimedia campaign to follow.

4. I will increase room temperature at mealtimes by relentlessly pushing familys hot buttons.

5. Four words: Driving withOUT headlights

6. I will lessen seasonal airconditioning demands by turning the calendar back and insisting its summer, skipping school to support this illusion.

7. I promise to gently refuse the gift of a private jet, should the situation come up.

8. Above all, I will save energy by sleeping as many hours per day as humanely possible.

And next month, maybe Ill lessen my dependence on these silly numbered lists.